Godwin Cutajar Gallery

Self portraits

self portrait 55 "Garden of Eden" series, 61cm X 49cm ; oil on wood 2012

 You and I are spending these few days together at this resort. Out of the window I could see the vast open blue sea, the white sand and palm trees all around. Far off on the horizon are immense clouds like sculptures. This place seems to be in the middle of nowhere. You invited me to this resort, I don’t know where we are but I don’t mind.

 These days I have seen you changing hairstyles everyday. Your hair is so long, so straight, so beautiful and so vane, very much as I like it. Its natural deep black gleams blue in sunlight and complements perfect with your brown complexion. I could stand hours, days, years just watching, watching and watching you doing your hair in front of the mirror.

 On the first day you arranged your hair with a fringe almost down to your eyes and with the sides hanging straight down your face. You ask me how do you look, I answer magnifique like an Egyptian queen.

 The second day you let it hanging down, but gathered it all in front onto your left shoulder and breast. You ask me how do you look, I answer you look better than an asian diva.

 Another day you pulled it all up behind your head and tied it in the style of a horse tail hanging down your back. You ask me how do you look, I answer too good to be true.

 Another day you let some of your hair hanging down almost hiding your right eye. You ask me how do you look in this style, I answer you look like a sinful sinner.

 The fifth day you pulled it all up gathering it in a small knob at the back of your head. You ask me how do you look, I answer like my ninetyseven year old grandma who danced salsa and smoked hand rolled cuban cigars.

 Your hair is getting longer and longer. On the sixth day you let it all hanging straight down your bosom. You ask me how do you look, I answer like Mary Magdalene that day she washed the feet of the Christ with her tears and then wiped them dry with her very long hair. I say this is my favourite hairstyle.

 Another day you never combed your hair after you woke up from sleep, letting it wild and natural all day long and wearing a violet flower on your left ear. You ask me how do you look, I answer you are adorable, adorable and adorable.

 Today is the eight day. This very moment your head and your warm cheeks are right beside me and all your hair is spread wide and wild on my bare chest. Today I want to fulfill a lifelong dream, that is to count all your hairs. In silence you and I whisper sour and sweet words. Slowly I run my fingers in your hairs. They are so black and smooth, they feel like velvet and their natural scent fills my senses as an opium. I count all your hairs one by one and to my surprise they number 29,011,980.

 In silence you and I whisper sweet and sour words to each other. I ask you how do I look, you reply you will tell me only after I have given you a gift as a present. Slowly you light up a cigarette. I gaze out of the window. I don’t know where we are. I think we are in paradise.